Intro  -  Bb  C 
 
                                           Bb  C 
There was a cajun queen down in Louisianne 
                                             Bb  C 
Gave birth to a boy with an over-sized gland 
                                                 Bb  C 
It was a thyroid condition that swelled his neck 
                                          Bb  C 
And none of the girls would give any lip 
            Bb  C 
To Big John 


    Am  
Big John 
    F  G 
Big John 
     C      Bb  C 
Big Johnson  
 
 
There was a story about his daddy who he never knew 
And each day that passed that thyroid grew 
He was a freak of nature, but a lawyer by trade 
And he couldn't understand why the girls were afraid 
Of Big Johnson 
 
 
So he took a teaching job on the California Coast 
At an all girls law school where he hoped 
He'd find a near-sighted girl for his far-feched dreams 
Who could overlook the defect in his genes 
Big Johnson 
 
 
Big John 
Big John 
Big Johnson 
 
 
And then one day on a routine trip 
To law library the earth began slip 
The lights went out and the shelves began to fold 
All the girls screamed, but no one grabbed ahold of Big Johnson 
 
 
Then a falling shelf caught on the bulge in his neck 
And he let out a groan but he stood there erect 
And as they scrambled beneath his legs to make their escape, 
40 paralegals came to appreciate Big Johnson 
 
 
Big John 
Big John 
Big Johnson 
 
 
The rescue workers agreed that no one could survive 
Under 20 tons of law books and still be alive 
Then a girl grabbed the Captain and said "You don't understand, 
At the bottom of those briefs lies a big, big gland...Big Johnson" 
 
 
Big John 
Big John 
Big Johnson