C#                                       F# 
They say to have her hair done, Liz flies  all the way to France 
    G#                                              C# 
and Jackie's seen in a disco tech doin' a brand new dance 
                                           F# 
and the White House social season should be  glittering and gay 
    G#                 G# 
But here in Topeka the rain is a'fallin' 
    G#                            G# 
the faucet is a'drippin', and the kids are a'ballin' 
G#                         G# 
One of them a'toddlin' and one is a'crawlin 
                 C# 
And one's on the way 
 
I'm glad that Raquel Welch just signed a million dollar pact 

And Debbie's out in Vegas workin' up a brand new act 

While the tv's showin' newly weds, a real fine game to play 

but here in Topeka the screen doors a'bangin 

the coffee's boilin' over and the wash needs a hangin' 

One wants a cookie and one wants a changin' 

and one's on the way 
    G# 
Now what was I doing, Jimmy get away from there 
C# 
darn, there goes the phone 
G# 
Hello, honey. What's the you say? 
       C# 
You're bringin' a few old army buddies home? 
                       F# 
You're callin' from a bar? 
 
Get away from there. 
                                      C# 
No, not you honey I was talkin' to the baby 
 
Wait a minute honey the doorbell 
      G# 
Honey? Could you stop at the market and... 
 
Hello? Hello? Well, I'll be... 
     
The girls in New York City they all march for women's lib 
and Better Homes And Gardens shows the modern way to live 
And the pill may change the world tomorrow but meanwhile today 
here in Topeka the flies are a'buzzin' 
the dog is a'barkin' and the floor needs a scrubbin 
One needs a spankin' and one needs a huggin' 
Lord, one's on the way 
Oh gee, I hope it ain't twins again