Dsus2 = X00230 
Cadd9 = X32030 
 
Em  D9  C9 played during spoken part/ 
 

Yon:    Rural Queensland, 1880. Constable Ned Kelly dons his armour and becomes the  

        founding member of the Victorian Police Bomb Squad, pre-dating actual bombs  

        by about 30 years. But history, it seems, would lead you to believe another  

        story. For Constable Ned Kelly made one fatal P.R. error...   
         

        Em          D                  E 
Tripod: History was not always as it appeared,   
        Em              D                       G  D 
        If you knew the truth about people with beards.   
        Em         D                     E 
        Ned wore a helmet to hide his disgrace,   
        G           A 
        To hide his hairy face!   
      Bm                                Em      G 
Scod:   And fifty years have passed and nothing changed,   
      Bm                          D        G 
        One tiny moustache ruined Stalin's name.   
      Bm                                      Em          G 
Tripod: Poor Chopper Reid's name gets dragged through the mire,   
      Bm                         G         F# 
        But beardless people get away scot-free,   
             G       F# 
        Like Eddie McGuire.   
         

      Em            D                  E 
        History was not always as it appeared,   
      Em                D                       G  D 
        If you knew the truth about people with beards.   
      Em         D                     E 
        Having a beard left a terrible mark,   
      G          A 
        On Peter Russell-Clarke.   
       

      Bm                                Em             G 
Scod:   King Arthur'd still be drinking from his magic cup,   
      Bm                                 D     G 
        Why do you think they strung old Jesus up?   
      Bm                             Em            G 
        The Vikings were basically a charity organisation,   
      Bm                            G     F#     
        Rasputin had some brilliant party tricks,   
                G            F# 
Tripod: And the Huns... were fun...   
       

        B                         E 
Yon:    Wil Anderson finally had enough,   
      A                                    D 
        When he caved in and shaved off his Jazz Tuft,   

Scod:   Jazz Tuft?   

Yon:    That's what it's called.   
      B                                         Em 
Yon:    There's only one instance when it was revered,   
      D                                      E 
        Was when Nicole Kidman herself was a beard!   
       

        Em          D                  E 
Tripod: History was not always as it appeared,   
        Em              D                       G  D 
        If you knew the truth about people with beards.   
        Em            D                       E 
        Burn all your books, both new and dog-eared,   

        (The line gets stuffed up)   

Scod:   Aww... so close!   
        G             A  
Tripod: And let's all grow a beard!   

Yon:    Or moustache.   
        G             A 
G & S:  And let's all grow a beard!   

Yon:    Or Van Dyke. But not Dick Van Dyke, you know what I mean.   
        G             A         E 
G & S:  And let's all grow a beard!   
       
Yon:    Or Jazz Tuft.