INTRO: G  D  A7  D 
 
     D                                        G                     D 
Slim Chance and the Can't Hardly Playboys are pickin' at your local saloon 
               G            D                                         A7 
They got a new song out on Polish Records, it'll be a Polish hit real soon 
      D                                   G             D 
They picked every honky-tonk and bar from here to Timbuktu 
     G                           D            A7                      D 
Slim Chance and the Can't Hardly Playboys are bustin' their butts for you 
 

D                                           G              D 
Out where the cars are up on blocks and the houses are on wheels 
G                   D                                         A7 
Slim and a big time bookin' agent, they cooked up a hell of a deal 
       D                                G           D 
They'd pick every Wal-Mart parkin' lot across the USA 
       G                           D                         A7                    D 
If the Good Lord's willin' and the creek don't rise and they figure out how to get paid 
 

   G (let ring)                   D 
No Chance was the only chance the Playboys ever had 
                                                          A7 
No matter how they picked 'em , everything they played was bad 
     D                                            G                   D 
Then Slim come along and he played the songs that stick right in your head 
     G                           D            A7                    D 
Slim Chance and the Can't Hardly Playboys are really a-knockin' 'em dead 

SOLO 
 

D                        G                  D 
Esmeralda Muckinfuch was Slim's good timin' gal 
    G              D                             A7 
She wasn't much to look at but Slim loved her anyhow 
             D                                  G                  D 
You couldn't beat her when she's sober, but you had to when she's drunk 
       G                      D                 A7                  D 
We all called her the Country Kitty, 'cause she smelled just like a what in the world was that? 
 

     G (let ring)               D 
Slim Chance could be anyone who hangs out in a bar 
                                        A7 
Or any local yokel who sings and plays guitar 
        D                                   G                  D 
All the boys and girls around the world now they know who they are 
     G                   D                     A7          D 
Slim Chance is about the best chance that they got to be a star 

SPOKEN: 
D                                               G        D 
Yesterday I couldn't even spell star, and now I are one 
        G                  D 
I say I ain't but a star I are 
                                      A7 
Do they not know who we think we are? 
                                         
I'm tellin' ya we're gonna get 500 a gig or we ain't playin! 
D  
I think we need some of them whores dejours 
                 G                                      D 
And some of them carrots and other things people get in back of the stage 
                            G                                                        D 
We need some of them little sausages on toothpicks, maybe a dressing room (that'd be good) 
A7  D 

INTRO