INTRO: no bass
Hey-ey, hey,..." etc etc

VERSE 1: no bass
An old man turned ninety-eight. 
He won the lottery, and died the next day.
It's a black fly in your Chardonnay. 
It's a death row pardon two minutes too late.
Isn't it ironic...don't you think?


CHORUS: 
It's like rai-

     Fig. 1
    | +   .   +   .   +   .   +   .   | +   .   +   .   +   .   +   .   |
----|---------------------------------|---------------------------------|
----|---------------------------------|---------------------------------|
----|-------------2-----1-2-------1---|---------------------------------|
-7-|-2-----2-----------------------4-|-2-----2-----4-------4-----------|
-ai-ain                        on your  wedding day            It's a free

| +   .   +   .   +   .   +   .   | +   .   +   .   +   .   +   .   |
|---------------------------------|---------------------------------|
|---------------------------------|---------------------------------|
|-------------2-----1-2-----------|---------------------------------|
|-2-----2-------------------------|-2-----2-----4-------4-----------|
  ride                 that you've  already paid.     It's the good ad-

| +   .   +   .   +   .   +   .   | +   .   +   .   +   .   +   .   |
|---------------------------------|---------------------------------|
|---------------------------------|---------------------------------|
|-------------2-----1-2-------1-1-|---------------------------------|
|-2-----2-------------------------|-2-----2-----4-----2h4-----------|
 -vice                    that you just didn't take.             And

                                                            End fig.1
| +   .   +   .   +   .   +   .   | +   .   +   .   +   .   +   .   |
|---------------------------------|---------------------------------|
|---------------------------------|---------------------------------|
|-0-------------------------------|---------------------------------|
|-----4---2---0-------0-----------|-2-----2-----2-------2-----------|
 who would have thought....    it  figures.


VERSE 2: repeat Fig.2, and sometimes play the notes between ()

  Fig.2                                                     End Fig.2
| +   .   +   .   +   .   +   .   | +   .   +   .   +   .   +   .   |
|---------------------------------|---------------------------------|
|---------------------------------|---------------------------------|
|-1-----1-----2-----2----(2)------|-1-----1-------------------------|
|---------------------------------|-------------4-----4----(4)------|
 Mr. Play It Safe.................. was afraid to fly.   He packed his
 suitcase and kissed his........... kids goodbye. He waited his
 whole damn life just to........... take that flight. And as the
 plane crashed down he thought "Well isn't this nice..." And isn't it I-
 ronic?..... don't you

last bar of verse 2:
| +   .   +   .   +   .   +   .   |
|---------------------------------|
|---------------------------------|
|-1-----1-------------------------|
|-------------4-----4-------7----|
  think?         It's like rai-ai--

CHORUS: play Fig.1, but replace the last bar by:
| +   .   +   .   +   .   +   .   |
|---------------------------------|
|-----------------4-----4---------|
|---------------------------------|
|-2-----2-----2h4-----------------|
it figures.

BRIDGE:

    | +   .   +   .   +   .   +   .    | +   .   +   .   +   .   +   .   |
----|----------------------------------|---------------------------------|
----|----------------------------------|---------------------------------|
----|----------------------------------|---------------------------------|
----|-0-----0-----0-------0------------|-2-----2-----2-------2-----------|
Well life has a funny way of sneaking up on you when you think everything's
                                         okay and

| +   .   +   .   +   .   +   .   | +   .   +   .   +   .   +   .   |
|---------------------------------|---------------------------------|
|---------------------------------|---------------------------------|
|---------------------------------|---------------------------------|
|-0-----0-----0-------2/4---------|-2-----2-----2-------2-----------|
  everything's going right.                                   And

| +   .   +   .   +   .   +   .   | +   .   +   .   +   .   +   .   |
|---------------------------------|---------------------------------|
|---------------------------------|---------------------------------|
|---------------------------------|---------------------------------|
|-0-----0-----0-------0-----------|-2-----2-----2-------2/4---2-----|
 life has a funny way of helping you out when you think everything's
                                     gone wrong and

| +   .   +   .   +   .   +   .   | +   .   +   .   +   .   +   .   |
|---------------------------------|---------------------------------|
|---------------------------------|-9-----8-------------------------|
|---------------------------------|-------------9-------------------|
|-0-----0-----0-------0-----------|---------------------7-----------|
  everything blows up in your face.

VERSE 3: repeat Fig.3
  Fig.3                                                     End Fig.3
| +   .   +   .   +   .   +   .   | +   .   +   .   +   .   +   .   |
|---------------------------------|---------------------------------|
|---------------------------------|---------------------------------|
|-1-----------2-------------------|-1-------------------------------|
|---------------------------------|-------------4-------------------|
  A traffic jam, when you're........already late............A no-
  smoking sign on your..............cigarette break.........It's like
  ten thousand spoons when all you  need is a knife.........It's
  meeting the man of my dreams and then meeting his beautiful wife.
                                                      And isn't it I-
  ronic.................don't you think?............. A little too I-
  ronic, .................and yeah I really do think  it's like rai-ai-


CHORUS: play Fig.1, but replace last bar by:
| +   .   +   .   +   .   +   .   |
|---------------------------------|
|---------------------------------|
|-----------------------------2///|
|-2-----2-----2-------2-----------|
  figures

OUTRO
| +   .   +   .   +   .   +   .   | +   .   +   .   +   .   +   .   |
|---------------------------------|---------------------------------|
|---------------------------------|---------------------------------|
|/7-----------------------9-/-11--|-9-----------------------------6-|
|---------------------------------|-----------------------------7---|
                                                    And you-ou-ou

| +   .   +   .   +   .   +   .   | +   .   +   .   +   .   +   .    |
|---------------------------------|----------------------------------|
|---------------------------------|----------------------------------|
|-7-----------------9/11----9/11--|-9---------------------------9h11-|
|---------------------------------|----------------------------------|
  Life has a funny way of           you-ou-ou             Ooh-ooh
  sneaking up on

| +   .   +   .   +   .   +   .   | +   .   +   .   +   .   +   .   |
|---------------------------------|---------------------------------|
|---------------------------------|---------------------------------|
|-7-----------------9/11----------|-9-------------------------------|
|---------------------------------|---------------------7/9---7/9---|
  life has a funny, funny way                          of helping you

| +   .   +   .   +   .   +   .   | Free time. Slow down             
|---------------------------------|--------------------------------- 
|---------------------------------|--------------------------------- 
|-7-------------------------------|----7--9---------7--------7------ 
|---------------------------------|-----------7h9------7------------ 
  out...           helping you out